Sinkhole

This freaks me out people.

Freaks.

Me.

Out.

Read about it HERE if you dare.

Planning for June 2nd

I've spent the day therapeutically crying and writing a letter to our baby.

June 2nd is our due date.

Jay and I are preparing a little ceremony to honor the life of our baby.

Now that my scanner is working - I am able to scan my sonogram pictures in!

Here are a couple ...

Such a teeny, tiny life.
You brought us so much joy.

Seriously - look at that heartbeat.
The sound of Heaven to a mother's ears.
Thank you God,
for allowing me the honor of hearing by baby's beautiful heartbeat.
What a truly grand gift you gave us.

So far, we plan on planting a tree and reading a letter, which we will bury under the tree.

The C Word: I HATE YOU

I'm so sad today.

A dear friend has been diagnosed with Cancer.

I just want to sit here.

Cry.

Kick and scream.

And punch Cancer in it's face.

I'm so mad.

Don't really know what to do with myself.

Not much else to say ...

Mother's Day in Chelan

Now that my class is over - I have time to catch up on my blogging ...

We spent a fabulous Mother's Day weekend in Lake Chelan with my family.

I basically cried the entire way to Chelan -
anticipating how much Mother's Day was going to suck for me.

And by "basically" I really mean I DID cry the entire way there.

Poor Jay.

We ended up having a great time.

Jay and I took a nice long walk on Mother's Day morning
and had a good, therapeutic cry together.

It was a tough year for both of us.

We spent the rest of the weekend celebrating
my birthday with wine tasting every day.

Here are some beautiful pictures from the weekend.

Here's to a wonderful year being 34!

Wordless Wednesday

Tee Off Against Trafficking 2010

The ladies did an unbelievable job
organizing Tee Off Against Trafficking this year.

- The venue was breathtaking -
- The scenery was gorgeous -
- Hearts were overflowing with generosity -

Thanks to all the hard work and generous golfers & attendees,
$45,000 - $50,000
will go directly to STOP Human Trafficking.

Enjoy these wonderful pictures, courtesy of my talented friend Carlee.

All the signs were made by my brother's company.
Thank you for the generous donation Danny!

Look at Jay in the background -
hovering over Tanner & the puppy
(which I named Cuddle Bug).
Just like a proud papa.
Making sure his baby is okay.

We had the honor of babysitting Cuddle Bug overnight on Friday
until his new owner could take him home.
Cuddle Bug
(yes, I realize how nauseating that name is)
raised $1,000 to STOP Human Trafficking.

(This is me ... not wanting to let Cuddle Bug go!)

Way to go ladies!

Little Guy

Little Guy went for $1,000 at our auction to STOP Human Trafficking.

A HUGE thank you to everyone who participated.

And a HUGE congrats to all the ladies who put on the wonderful event.

Jay and I are going to sleep now.

Forgot about how involved a puppy is.

Particularly when you'd like to be asleep.

SO WORTH IT!

Oh boy ...

Someone (actually I think TWO someones!) are in love ...

Look at this love ...

This sweet puggle will be auctioned off tomorrow at our annual Tee Off Against Trafficking Charity Golf Tournament.

For more information, click HERE.

Jay and I are puppy-sitting this sweetie tonight and bringing him to the live auction tomorrow.

Feel free to come over for puppy cuddles and pee clean-up.

I Have This Friend ...

I have this friend who is an amazing cook.

Like seriously.

She has a What's Cookin' 2nite section at the end of every daily blog post.

And I'm constantly waiting to be invited over to her house to indulge in something grand and tantalizing to the taste buds.

With my college career over for a while - starting last night - (yipee!) I decided to really cook a meal tonight.

Many of you know that my mom is an amazing chef - as are all my aunts.

I have huge shoes to fill.

I'm a great baker - but my cooking skills are still a work in progress (though Jay thinks I'm a great cook - and really - what else can a girl ask for?).

However, I'm pretty confident that I filled those big shoes tonight.

So ... Rachel ... here you go girl ...

What's Cookin' 2nite:
Bean, Corn, and Tortilla Salad
Peanut-Crusted Chicken Breasts
Couscous with Carrots and Cilantro (fresh from my garden, thank you very much)

Bean, Corn, and Torilla Salad

Peanut-Crusted Chicken Breasts

Couscous with Carrots and Cilantro

All the recipes (which are totally easy - unless you're Rachel - they were super complicated and probably shouldn't be duplicated) can be found in THIS cookbook that my friend Jordan gave me for my birthday.

Guess Who?

Guess who finished her LAST paper?

Guess who is DONE with school?

Guess who has a social life now?

Guess who doesn't have to get bills from SPU anymore?

Guess who can do fun activities again?

Guess who gets to read a pleasure book if she wants?

Guess who can surf the web instead of type a paper?

Guess who doesn't have to document student work anymore?

Guess who can enjoy life without stress (that might be pushing it - but give it to me today)?

Guess who has time to blog again?

Guess who won't be swearing at her computer (as much) anymore?

Guess who feels free ... free as a bird!

Guess who!?!

Wordless Wednesday

HaPpY bIrThDaY tO mE

Happy 34th Birthday to me.

I bought myself these ...

and these ...

Check them out HERE.

Even if it isn't your birthday.

Keepin' It Real

I've been thinking a lot about how some people tend to put their best foot forward on their blog.

Then there are people (like me) who let it all hang out.

Literally.

Sometime too much so.

Yes?

Yesterday's Wordless Wednesday was a picture of me with Jamie & Karen Moyer (former Seattle Mariner's pitcher).

I was lookin' GOOD that day.

But not my true self.

Because now I'm not as tan and 20 pounds heavier.

So in an attempt to keep it real.

Here is a picture of me right before bed last night.

In my bathroom.

In my PJ's.

After HOURS of writing a paper, staring at my computer screen.

At an ungodly hour when all 1st grade teachers are mandated to be in the REM stage of sleep.


Looking REAL special.

And keepin' it real people.

Keepin' it real.

Wordless Wednesday

Mother's Day

Hmm ... Mother's Day tomorrow.

Kind of a weird year for me.

I carried a baby in my belly, but don't have a baby to hold on this special holiday.

Feelings of "Am I really a mother if I don't have a baby?" run through my mind.

I know it's normal.

I've read many books on miscarriage and I know I'm not alone.

One of the teachers I work with wished me a happy mother's day.

So thoughtful and sweet.

Yet nearly brought me to my knees.

How will I feel tomorrow?

Going to allow myself to be sad if it's what I need.

Happy Mother's Day to my mom ... and ALL the mothers out there.

ALL of you.

Whether you have a baby to hold or not.

Love you to friends.

xoxo

Be Still

Many of my friends have complimented me on my new necklace.

But ... my compliments REALLY go to the ever-so-talented Lisa Leonard.

Seriously talented.

Lisa is a mommy, wife, world-changer, artist.

I highly respect her artwork and the amazing things she does with her talent.

I bought this necklace ...


Lisa, modeling her art ...
I bought this necklace in remembrance of the baby Jay & I lost.

Ever since my miscarriage, I've really been noticing birds.

A symbol of our loss.

I just couldn't pass up this necklace.

The sweet baby bird reminds me of our Baby Boo.

The tall reeds remind me of Jay & I.

Looking over our baby protectively.

Check out her website.

All of her pieces are one of a kind because they are made after you order them.

Personal pieces.

Perfect pieces.

Ridiculous

I was totally planning on writing a post about why I haven't written lately.

I have some really good reasons.

Mainly just "life" getting in the way.

Busy schedules, papers due, grading, work, deadlines ... stuff.

Stuff that gets in the way of time to sit down, process and write.

But then I saw this magazine cover and it quickly snapped me back into Blogging Mode.

Because really ... I couldn't just let this opportunity pass by ...


First of all ... make sure you read the title.

"Eric & Rebecca: Meet our Baby Girl!"

Really?

Because when I see this cover, here are some headlines that I think of

• "Look at us! We're naked!"
• "Hey everyone ... see my abs?"
• "I'm naked. And oh yah, I had a baby too."
• "I'm holding a baby, in case you missed that."
• "I'm looking SUPER serious right now, but really, all I'm thinking about are my wife's naked breasts on my back"
• "For privacy reason, we don't want you to see our baby's face ... so here is my naked body to appease you."
• "What baby? Look at me!"
  

No?

Is it just me?

What would you title this picture?

Wordless Wednesday