Processing

I'm home.

Natalie & I got home around 11:00 this morning.

It's around midnight now.

My body thinks it's 10:39 in the morning.

I am wide awake ... yet so, so tired.

My eyes burn from tears and exhaustion.

My heart is hurting.

My mind is processing.

I can not forget what I have seen.

The images in my mind are unstoppable.

The HIV/AID pandemic is so huge.

Each child has a horrific story.

Each child's story keeps popping up in my mind.

I am so grateful for organizations like iThemba Lethu who make changes starting with the young boys and girls of Africa.

More reflective posts to come.

For now, I'm in the I'm-so-tired-and-processing-my-trip-that-I-cry-at-the-drop-of-a-hat.

Here's one example:

Jay and I were driving home from the airport and decided to grab a quick sandwich at Subway. I was dreaming about all the fresh vegetables I was about to put in my sandwich, when an image from last week popped into my head ...

A hundred kids lined up for lunch. Trying so hard to be patient but getting antsy for food. Some push, some exchange words ... but not because they are bad kids or rude. Because for many of them, this is their first meal of the day. A hot dog in a white-bread bun, a small package of chips and an apple. All kids eat their hot dog, but most shove the chips & apple in a backpack or bag. Most aren't sure when their next meal will come.

Same story, over and over again for each child we meet.

And today, it just became TOO MUCH.

Sorry for the downer post ... but this is the truth.

This IS what it's like.

And I can't turn my head away from it.

I've experienced it.

I've made friendships with these children.

Like I said ... still processing.

Much love to all of you.

xoxo