What's Overcome Me?

For those of you who know me, you know I don't clean my house very often.

And by very often, I mean never.

Jay does it.

I do almost all the cooking.

He does almost all the cleaning.

It works for us.

I think.

But something came over me tonight and I started vacuuming.

I seriously thought Jay was going to DIE of shock.

Scene: I had just started vacuuming & Jay walks into the room, startled by the unfamiliar sound.
Me: (just vacuuming).
Jay: (just staring).
Me: (I notice he's staring) You don't have to just stand there and stare.
Jay: Sorry, but I'm not used to this. I'm taking it all in.
Me: (roll my eyes and flip him off with my free hand).

Scene: A few minutes later (I'm starting to sweat and the novelty of vacuuming for the 1st time in a few months has worn off)
Me: (notice Jay is following me around as I vacuum, and he continually stares at the ground, causing me to grow over-whelmingly self-conscious) Stop following me around. It's creeping me out. And why are you staring at the ground?
Jay: Just noticing spots.
Oh no he didn't just say that!!!
Me: What to you mean? (defensively, FULLY knowing what he means) What spots?
Jay: Oh, just spots you missed.
Me: (another flip-off [this time FULLY deserved]).
Jay: Babe, you really should stop flipping me off. It's not nice.
Me: Haven't you learned anything from teaching? You can't shoot me down the second I try something new! You gotta build me up!
Jay: You're right. Good job babe, you're doing a GREAT job!
Me: Thanks! (I'm such a sucker for positive reinforcement)

For the record: I DID go back and get 'the spots' ... because I'm highly competitive. At which point I turned off the vacuum and said, "Bye vacuum ... see ya in 6 months!