Heartbeat

I know this picture isn't great (our scanner is broken) ...

But I wanted to post a picture of our baby.

The bottom line is his/her heartbeat.

Priceless.

Thank you God.

For the gift of hearing a heartbeat.

Loss

On Tuesday, we were that couple.

That couple who gets bad news.

That couples that gets told, "I am so sorry."

The couple who's doctor steps out for a bit of privacy.

The couple who has to make difficult choices.

The couple in so much pain they can't catch their breaths.

The couple who thinks this is a bad dream.

They WILL themselves to wake up.

Who get escorted out the back exit for privacy.

On Tuesday, we found out we lost our sweet little baby.

It was a total shock.

We had already had an ultrasound and left with a clear bill of health.

A healthy heartbeat.

And ever-growing fetus and an ever-morning-sickness mama.

A proud papa.

Hopes and dreams for the future.

Baby names.

Baby plans.

Baby vacations.

Baby books.

In one second, our world came crashing down on us.

When we went in for our routine ultrasound on Tuesday, our sweet little angel was still measuring 6 weeks. And his or her sweet heartbeat had stopped.

Silent.

In the room.

In my womb.

In my heart.

The last 24 hours have been extremely painful.

Medication. Mourning. Sadness. Grief. Medical procedures.

But I'll tell you what else I've felt.

God's loving hand the entire time.

Being lifted by prayer.

Supported by friends and family.

Loved by the tender doctor's and nurses.

I NEVER for ONE SECOND felt alone.

Not once.

I am so grateful for God's grace, strength.

I KNOW I am loved. That my baby is loved. That my husband is loved.

Without a doubt.

I feel peace in knowing that He is holding my sweet baby in his arms.

That I have the most amazing husband ever.

That God gave me the gift of letting us hear our baby's heartbeat before He took him/her into his arms.

We will meet again another time sweet baby-boo.

I love you and I deeply mourn for your loss.

I will never forget the time I helped God create you ... and I thank you for the strength you have given me.

Mama loves you.

P.S. I still think you are a boy. And I look forward to the day I can find out. Until then ... I'm going to live a beautiful life. For you. For me.

Danny's Wedding Weekend

This evening starts a fun-filled few days.

My brother Danny is marrying is love Erica on Friday night.

Tonight is rehearsal dinner.

Friday is the wedding.

What a surreal and wonderful thing.

Watching your younger brother get married.

I couldn't be happier.

Couldn't be more proud.

Will post pictures when we get home this weekend.

I love you both very much.

xoxo Sis xoxo

The Student-Teacher Connection

I can't type much ...

My eyes are full of tears.

This video is very heartwarming and inspiring ...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

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Some pictures are worth a thousand words.

Others leave you speechless & full of thoughts.

Here is one from Haiti.

You can find it HERE.

Sugar like Crack

Last night when I sat down for the night, I had a chance to think about everything I had eaten that day.

Sure, I ate healthy stuff.

But I also ate 4 chocolate chip cookies, 1 Halloween sugar cookie, and 1/2 a Twix bar throughout the day.

I'm not ashamed.

I'm actually quite impressed with myself.

I ate that much sugar and never even got a stomach ache.

Hmmm.

Quite interesting.

Kinda like how every time I eat at McDonald's I want to get a stomach ache so I won't crave it again.

But I never do.

And I always go back.

Sugary sweets & McDonalds.

Just like crack.

Passing The Blame

My students pass the blame all the time.

"He made me."

"She started it."

"It was his idea."

This annoys me to no end.

However, I've realized that I do the same thing in my own adult way.

"I can't go to church today, I'm too busy."

"I can't go tonight, I'm too tired."

"I don't blog as much, I'm too busy updating my Facebook status."

"I don't have important phone numbers memorized, I count on my cell phone for that." By the way, this included my husband's number. MY HUSBAND'S NUMBER. This bit of news my friends, is officially pathetic.

Whatever it is.

I do it.

We all do it.

And until I stop, I commit to more patience with my students.

And to do my best to be a role model of positive behavior and taking ownership of my faults.

Another Ridiculous Costco Run

I blog quite often about my ridiculous trips to Costco.

I'm sure you can relate.

You go in to buy 1 thing ...

... and leave hundreds of dollars later.

It's truly ridiculous.

I CAN'T seem to pass up a good buy in bulk.

Here is yesterday's evidence.

I went to Costco for a $4.99 rotisserie chicken.

I left with:

• Gatoraide G2 packs
• Organic Gala apples
• Bartlett pears
• Rice Crackers
• Cup O' Soup (for Jay ... I don't touch that stuff)
• Pam spray
• Pure Vanilla
• Colby cheese
• Whole wheat English muffins
  
• Rotisserie chicken

Could have been worse.

But still.

Just down-right silly.

Clean Water

Sharing a new picture
taken by Scott Harrison yesterday of charity: water.

Clean drinking water from a new charity: water well in Tigray, Ethiopia.
charity: water has helped 150,000 people here.

Seriously.

Is there anything more beautiful?

Email Mishap

Ever worry you'll send an email to the wrong person?

Ever wonder, "Hmmm ... I wonder who will see this."

Or, "I hope this stays private."

Or have nightmares about sending an email to someone but accidentally sending it to you boss?

Yes people.

I did that today.

I sent an email and it accidentally went to my boss.

Here's the best part ...

It was supposed to be TO MY HUSBAND.

She was actually very sweet about it.

She wrote me back and said, "Huh, I don't get it? I must be slow today."

And I wrote back, "You are not slow. I am. Sorry, that was supposed to go to my husband. But I'm happy to call you 'honey' again whenever you want."

Yep.

Awesome.

Oops.

Well there's a new mistake!

Until next time ... happy emailing.

Temptation

Temptation was not my friend today.

I went to Target after work today.

I needed two specific things:
1. A strapless bra for bridesmaid dress I'm wearing next weekend.
2. A pair of pants that fit me.

I ended up walking out with a bag of Fritos.

That's it.

Temptation won.

Go figure.

Literally.

Anyone have a pair of pants and a strapless bra I can borrow?

"That" word

I have a problem.

It's a problem I don't know how to control.

I've tried to ignore it for over a year.

It's a word.

When I hear it, I hear nails down a chalk board.

Teeth scraping against teeth.

All those unpleasantries.

UBER.

Why must people say it?

It's so stupid.

Are you trying to be trendy when you say it?

Are you trying to be super cool?

Are you too lazy to say SUPER?

When people say it, I literally get the chills.

I have a physical reaction.

It's like an allergy.

I'm allergic to the word.

Any thoughts?

Besides asking my allergist to add UBER to my allergy shot serum?

Disability Awareness Month

Along with Breast Cancer Awareness Month,

October is also Disability Awareness Month.

Please do what you can to educate yourself & others about both wonderful causes.

The Jimmystache

This is our good friend Jimmy.

If you don't know him, you are seriously missing out.

Super funny.

Super genuine.

Jimmy loves randomly growing a mustache.

He looks super creepy in this picture.

And I can't stop laughing at it.

Because he posted this picture on facebook, with the caption, "I have some candy in my van outside."

And really ... that's some funny stuff.

In the sickest, most perverted way EVER!

And in an effort to persuade you that he IS normal, I will leave you with this picture of Jimmy ...

Love you Jimmy!

I Fell In

Did you know there is a black hole in space?

Did you think I fell in?

Blogher did! They cancelled my ads because my blogging was so lacking.

I'm happy to report that I'm very much still alive.

I unexpectedly took a short hiatus from blogging.

Unplanned.

But nonetheless .... I'm back!

When September rolled in, it also rolled in the new school year.

During the summer, my life goes about 15 mph. When school starts and I go back to work, I go from 15 mph to 150 mph in a matter of a day. It always takes some time to adjust back to long work days and rallying twenty-three 6 year-olds all day.

I think I'm ready to resurface and join the blogging world again.

Yipee!

In an effort to get caught up to speed, I'll share a few things that happened in September. These may or may not be interesting to you. Regardless, they kept me busy & away from blogging. Think of them as my excuses for being absent.

• My allergies have been OUT OF CONTROL. I went through a few week phase where I had to use my inhaler every day. That was NOT fun. I went back to my allergy doctor and they are currently under control (my allergies, not my doctor). :)
• My school year started off very rough. I have a student in a wheel chair and she came with absolutely NO HELP! I was outraged. Not for me, but for her. My first day ended in tears. Many of you know that I taught Special Ed for 4 years before getting into the regular ed classroom. I was appalled and outraged. I was armed with the law & my knowledge on my side. I threw a fit. "Professional fit" of course. And I'm happy to report that I have a PARA (who I LOVE!) in my room 4 hours a day to help my student.
• We have had a gagillion meetings (not really, but that's how it feels when I think back to all the meetings I've attended in my PJ's) for our upcoming Pictures For A Purpose. We've all been busy planning and organizing and praying. I am SO EXCITED for our event. It is THIS Saturday! We DOUBLED our sittings from last year and they have ALL FILLED! We are so blessed and pleased that so many kind-hearted people want to support ENDING Human Trafficking!
• I am officially a Football Widow. Football is in full swing and Jay is busy with his coaching duties. It has been fun watching and supporting him lead his boys and being able to witness him do what he truly loves to do.
• Weddings, weddings, weddings. We threw a bridal shower for my brother and Erica with my parents in early September. I also attended a couple wedding showers. My cousin is getting married next weekend. My brother and Erica are getting married the week after. I won't mention that our bridesmaid dresses aren't in yet. And that the wedding is in 15 days. And they all need to be altered still. Nope. I won't mention that at all.
• My beautiful cousin Jenna turned 30th on September 22nd and she had a really fun party at her parents house. It was fun to see family members we don't get to see often, and meet some of Jenn's friends who keep her sane & happy up in Canada.
• Jay's sister is pregnant and getting married in August.
• Jay's brother proposed to his girlfriend. They have set a wedding date for the week after Jay's sister gets married. Looks like it's going to be a busy August of a growing Stookey family!

And now, for your viewing entertainment. Think of it as a "gift" for still reading this post. I will attach a few pictures that Google thought I might enjoy for my blog post when I googled "Where have I been?" ...

I have no explanation for this search result ...

Freaking saaaaweet mullet ...

Who is this guy? And yah, "where has he been?" THAT'S a valid question!

This picture is just plain priceless ...