Empty

So ... here's where I am.

Empty.

The realization that I'm not pregnant anymore is starting to really sink in.

And I'm left with a lot of sadness.

I'm finding it hard to create positivity today.

When I get dressed, I feel fat.

I have a chubby belly.

A belly meant for a sweet little baby.

But now it's empty.

I feel like I have nothing to show for pounds gained.

My abdomen hurts from my D&C.

I feel like I've done a million sit-ups and side crunches.

But for no reason really.

Not because I worked out.

Not because a baby is in there and tendons are stretching.

I just feel really empty.

And really, it's not about the weight or sore abdomen.

Those are just symptoms and reminders.

It's what they represent.

Emptiness.

I know God will heal me.

Time will pass and I'll feel better.

But not today.

Today, I will honor my feelings.

And feel empty.

And that's okay.