birds & the bees {1st grade edition}

Student: Mrs. Stookey, we're going to play a game.
Me: OK
Student: I'm going to ask you a question. I already know that answer, but we'll see if you do too.
Me: Sounds like a fun game. Let's do it.
Student: Ok ... when a mommy dog (ooooh boy) has a baby dog (oooooh no) ... does it's baby come out of his BELLY or his BUTT?

I mean come on now ... this is a lose/lose situation for me.

Me: It's belly!?! (both a statement and a question ... PRAYING I'm right, because really what I want to do is forfeit my win in this game)
Student: WRONG! IT'S BUTT ... LOOK!

My student then proceeded to show me his library book ... "How Puppies Are Born" (or something like that ... I've blocked it out of my memory).

Lord help me.

Lo and behold ... the picture showed a puppy coming out of what looks like its mother's butt.

I actually sifted through HUNDREDS of pictures on the Internet to find one that most resembles the one he showed me.

But honestly ... it's super gross-looking.

Anyway, about 5 minutes later, apparently the kids were still looking at the book because ANOTHER student came up to me with this conversation:

Student: Mrs. Stookey, did you know that when puppies are born, they're wearing a coat?
Me: Huh?!?
Student: Yeah, it's true ... when puppies are born, they're wearing a coat.
Me: I don't know what you mean by that.
Student: They're wearing a black, shiny, slimy-looking coat.

UGH.

I promptly told my student to put his book away in his backpack.

ENOUGH birds and bees talk for one day.

Eat your snack already - it's snack time!

I'm exhausted.