Sunday, September 12, 2010

blah day {with no capitals}

today has been a blah day so i'm foregoing all capitals.

this is how i usually type.

i use capitals for my readers so you think i'm a proper typer.

and i'm a teacher.

so you know - properness and all.

anyway, you know when you're sad, you stay away from sad songs, movies, reminders, etc.?

well, i watched The Time Traveler's Wife this morning.

it's a good movie.

but i wouldn't recommend it if you're remotely sad.

or triggered by death {who isn't!?!}.

spoiler alert: in the movie, the couple has 2 miscarriages, and the husband dies at the end.

and well.

that sucked to watch.

so ever since then, i've been in a grouchy, sad mood.

it's all good.

this too shall pass.

just kinda sucks.

i'm fully aware that i am still mourning the loss of our 2nd baby.

i'm not sure how to do it - since the 2nd death kinda blends into the 1st death and just makes that hole feel deeper.

so today i'm watching football with jay, grading math papers, doing laundry, occasionally crying, and allowing myself to feel sad.

pretty sure this is how you mourn.

you feel what you feel, and allow yourself to feel it when the feelings come {serious sentence with a lot of 'feeling' words in it which makes me giggle while typing it}.

in other news, i'm really enjoying reading THIS blog every day.

she's inspiring me to start a new program and make some simple, healthy changes.

training for a 5k starts tomorrow.

starting slowly.

i think this will be good.

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