Friday, November 5, 2010

Some Stats & Heart Stirring

I've been wanting to blog about this for a while - but haven't.

I want people to be aware.

I want people to understand this heartbreak.

I want people to realize how often miscarriage happens.

And I'm going to use my own life to demonstrate.


I started the month of October with 7 pregnant girlfriends.

I started November with only 4 pregnant girlfriends.

Girlfriend's #1, 2, and 3 have miscarried.

And #4 is dangerously close to miscarriage - she is 10 weeks along and doctor's are having a hard time finding her baby's heartbeat as I write this.

Girlfriends # 5, 6, and 7 are lucky.

This is how I feel.

You are LUCKY if you have a baby.

If you stay pregnant.

Miscarriage is so prevalent!

Why don't we talk about this more often?

I want to scream from the mountaintops, "YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SUFFER SILENTLY!"

When I first miscarried, I had no idea who I could turn to (besides family).

So many parents feel isolated & lonely ... and the heartache is like non-other.

I was fortunate to have a wonderful counselor I turned to - but many do not.

Support groups are prevalent and easy to find on the Internet.

I don't have a smart or profound conclusion to this post - I just want you to know
  • My heart breaks for so many of my friends
  • We are not alone
  • I feel a stirring inside me about doing something about this
  • I'm not sure what that stirring is - but it excites me - and I'm not going to ignore it
Love you guys.



Kristen said...

So true, Lisa and so very heartbreaking. I miscarried last week . . . it was my third according to my OB-GYN file, but she suspects I've had others. The sadness leaves a hole in your heart, a feeling of failure and so many 'what if' questions. It never gets easier, but I think you are exactly right. Having an amazing husband and supportive family and friends is the only thing that makes the hole seem a little bit smaller.

Lisa said...

Kristen - I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. You didn't leave a link or last name.

I will respect your privacy if that is what you want - otherwise I would love to chat with you.

Please feel free to email me:

I think we'd both find comfort in it.


Kristen Wiley said...

Sorry Lisa, didn't mean to leave out my last name. I usually talk pretty openly about this subject, because so many women (and men) in my life have experienced this type of loss.
I feel so incredibly blessed to have two beautiful and healthy boys.

Bryan and I would love to have more children . . . I try to trust that the Lord has a plan for our family however at times it is hard to embrace that truth.

I would love to help others as well, but honestly wouldn't know where to start.

Hugs to you!

Anonymous said...

I'm totally with you. I never thought about things like this as a kid; never thought about them in college; never even thought about it in my 20s. Now that I'm in my 30s there are very few people I know who have not been affected by miscarriage, stillbirth, or infertility. Why does this seem like such a surprise when it's so prevalent?

Kinsey Meredith Piscitelli said...

Lisa, you are the best!
You have such a big heart to be able to grieve for others in the midst of your own pain.
You are an inspiration, and a HUGE blessing!
Thank you so much for your prayers!!!!!!!!

angie on maui said...

Hi Lisa,

I can't remember where I linked over from, but I was intrigued by your blog title and stopped by to read. I'm so very sorry for your losses. I admire you for your bravery to write freely about this; through your pain, you are able to reach and help others.

I read through a few of your posts and in a nutshell, you're adorable. :) Your 'voice' is pure and honest and I love discovering blogs like yours. Following you, now. :)

P.S. - I'm Angie...nice to meet you!