Thursday, March 18, 2010

Good Stuff

I've been trying to find eloquent words for months.

Trying to put all my thoughts and feelings into words that make sense.

Words that aren't as confusing as the thoughts.

Because the truth is ... I am in pain.

My pain is healing, but it still hurts.

Now that Jay and I are trying again, so many new emotions are coming up that I'm dealing with.

I recently started reading a book called Trying Again: A Guide to Pregnancy After Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss.

And I literally just highlighted the ENTIRE 2nd paragraph of the book.

And thought, THIS is what I've been trying to convey.

THESE are the words I've been looking for.
"As you embark on another pregnancy, it is normal for fear to color every aspect. You may feel uneasy because you know that even if you do all the "right" things, there are no guarantees. You may wish you could relax, but you can't forget what happened before. You may feel certain that you're unable to have a baby who can survive. While intellectually you may know that the odds are in your favor, it can be difficult to convince yourself emotionally."
And there you have it friends.

The words I've been trying to say.

And I especially like that last sentence.

Distinguishing between your intellectual self and your emotional self.


Good stuff.

More to come.


marisabutterworth said...

Love you.

Anonymous said...

I love you guys.....and even though I don't talk about it at work. I understand the feelings...... But most importantly, God understands. His arm is around you as you walk in anxiety, hope & desire.