Wednesday, September 22, 2010

{cold-hearted} confession

i have a confession to make.

if you've never had a miscarriage, you might think i'm totally cold-hearted.

but this is my truth.

every time i found out someone else is pregnant ...

my heart sinks a bit.

because i want it to be me.

this in no way diminishes my happiness for them.

just makes me sad for myself.

a bit of a momentary pity party, if you will.

the end.

7 comments:

becky said...

Your normal and it's OKAY
xoxo Becky

Renae said...

Oh yes, I understand. First with the miscarriage and now the failed placement. Happy for them, hurty for me.

Sending prayers and hugs your way.

Unlikely Oilfield Wife said...

It's not just you. I'm at the point where I've had to hide every pregnant woman on my facebook friends list. Just cannot take it anymore. :(

Jessie said...

Don't tell anyone...but I feel the same way about people getting married. :-(

Annie said...

I haven't been in your shoes before. But know for sure, without a doubt, I would feel the same way. I think that's totally normal - and I love how honest you are. Loves to you.

Anonymous said...

I actually had to stop being friends with a couple after I miscarried when they told us they were pregnant. And you know what? I don't regret it one bit. It was what I needed to do because I was not in a healthy place. And I balled my eyes out when my sister-in-law called to tell me she was pregnant because I was so jealous and she thought I was crying because I was happy for her. I wasn't....and still to this day she doesn't know that. You are not alone in those feelings.

mrsmouthy said...

I wish I had some words of advice but I just have a loud IT'S NOT FAIR to add into the mix of it. Maybe my advice is to go ahead and feel jealous because you can't stop that (I couldn't), but see if you can stop feeling guilty about feeling jealous. Own that jealousy, girl. Then go to the mall and buy it something nice.