Friday, January 30, 2009

No Title For This One

I don't even know where to start.

I've been crying all morning.

The kind of crying that is loud.

And ugly.

And you're surprised the sounds are coming from your mouth.

Got a text from my friend this morning in the middle of a staff meeting.

I forgot to turn my phone off.

The beeping surprised me.

I grabbed my phone to turn it off.

And saw her text.

I had to leave the meeting because I couldn't push the tears away.

One of the dear, sweet, innocent babies I met in South Africa just got test results back.

Full blown AIDS.

12 weeks old.

My heart is broken.

I can't stop the crying.

I'm so mad.

I am so angry.

I am so, so sad.

And so today I work at my desk, but my mind is with him.

My chest feels heavy while I fight back tears.

I sit in a meeting, but don't listen.

I remind myself to breath.

Because I don't know what else to do.

6 comments:

Eve said...

I'm so sorry Lisa!

Pray for him.

I will will for both of you.

Kelly McPherson said...

Oh poor baby! I refuse to believe that God cannot work in this situation. He's bigger than this.

Jodie Howerton said...

It feels so, so unfair. Having a face on a statistic is just heartbreaking...

Lisa said...

Eve ... you are sweet.

Just pray for him :) xoxo

Suzi said...

Oh Lisa, I'm sorry.

Teabo Chica said...

Thanks Lisa for feeling so connected to him too. This one is so close to us, because we loved on him, and still do. We were right there with him.