I don't even know where to start.
I've been crying all morning.
The kind of crying that is loud.
And you're surprised the sounds are coming from your mouth.
Got a text from my friend this morning in the middle of a staff meeting.
I forgot to turn my phone off.
The beeping surprised me.
I grabbed my phone to turn it off.
And saw her text.
I had to leave the meeting because I couldn't push the tears away.
One of the dear, sweet, innocent babies I met in South Africa just got test results back.
Full blown AIDS.
12 weeks old.
My heart is broken.
I can't stop the crying.
I'm so mad.
I am so angry.
I am so, so sad.
And so today I work at my desk, but my mind is with him.
My chest feels heavy while I fight back tears.
I sit in a meeting, but don't listen.
I remind myself to breath.
Because I don't know what else to do.