Friday, May 30, 2008

Who Do You Live With?

Ah ... the college life.

My cousin Jenn and her roommate are looking for a 3rd roommate. They are Grad school students and live in Santa Cruz, CA. The girl who was supposed to move in, bailed at the last minute. In order to fill the empty room, they put an add on Craig's List.

Jenn has been updating me with a colorful description of each person that responds ... and I've been thinking about it all day. I can't keep it in any longer. I must share it with you.

Here is a list of the people they have interviewed today:
1. a 51 year-old church-loving, chain smoker, tattooed lady
2. a 50 year-old Dojo-owning family martial arts man (with a karaoke business on the side)
3. a 23 year-old writer/cell phone salesman dripping in cologne

To top off the list of potential roommates, Jenn just received this email (and I quote):

Dear Jenn,
My name is Kandice. I am 23 and the way I pay my bills is by providing patients with medicated edibles. I don't have a real job or go to school, but I am a Life Student! My business partner and I work out of a kitchen in Redwood City, so I would not need a working space where I am living. I was supposed to be moving into a house off Empire Grade at the end of this month; however, things at that house obviously fell through. Now I am emailing you in desperation because the last thing I want is to have to couch surf and get a storage unit which is Plan A at the moment. I am coming from Pacifica, I love the coast and cannot leave it! I am a DJ but practice at my friend's studio off of Soquel and Ocean so I shouldn't be that loud. I also help put on underground non-alcoholic/strictly psychedelic events, mostly in SF. I clean my dishes after I eat. Sometimes my room gets a bit cluttered but I always have organized piles. ;)

I was wondering how much money you need up front and how soon I could move in? I am a bit broke right now because I just paid some bills but I can round up enough to move in, I am sure! I look forward to hearing back from you!

Love + Light,

Um ... no offense 'Kandice' but I think the last thing that Jenn is worried about is you're cleanliness factor. Maybe we can get back to the fact that you have a lot of very odd/illegal jobs! Jeez people!

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