Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Oral Health Care Heaven

My friend Melaine and I pride ourselves on our oral health-care habits.

You could say we're a little over-the-top.

I love brushing and flossing my teeth. My mouth feels dirty if I use a plain-ol' toothbrush. I must use my Sonicare.

I feel prideful of the fact that I have naturally straight teeth.

No braces in this mouth!

So you can only imagine who insanely jealous I was when I saw Melaine pull a new gadget out of her bag on our trip to Manhattan Beach this summer.

With eyes bulging, I immediately said, "Holy cow! What's that?"

Melaine (with a new air of confidence) casually said, "Oh, just my tongue scraper. What? You've never seen one before?"

You see ... I'm sure she was relishing in the fact that she had one-upped me in the oral-health-care-genre.

Astonished, I said, "Heck no I've never seen one of those ... and I can't wait to watch you use it!"

With great pride, Melaine showed me the proper way to use a tongue scraper.

I watched her, with curious eyes and an increased heartbeat.

I could tell my life was about to change forever.

I had so many questions going on in my head
  • How is it that I've lived 32 years and never heard of a tongue scraper?
  • How long has Melaine been keeping this from me?
  • Where can I get my hands on one of these bad-boys?
  • Once I do get one ... how many times a day can I use it, without it being so often?
  • How much gross stuff is on my tongue right now? Sitting there. Not getting scraped off!
So ... when I went to the dentist on Monday, this is literally how it went:
  1. Get called back to dentist chair
  2. Politely say hello to CarrieAnn, ask her how she's been.
  3. Be a good listener and really patient as she answers above question.
  4. Once she's done, quickly respond with "Good" to her question of "And how have you been?"
  5. Immediately say, "So, I've been dying to ask you. My friend Melaine and I are both health-care freaks, and when we vacationed together this summer, she had a tool that I don't have. I MUST have one. It was a tongue scraper. Do you know where I can get one?"
CarrieAnn giggles and says, "Lisa, I'm about to make your dreams come true!"

And she wasn't joking.

She turns around, opens one of her drawers and pulls out gold.

Well, not really gold ... but it might as well have been.

She handed me a brand new, never been opened, still in the doctorish sanitary packaging TONGUE SCRAPER.

I died and went to heaven.

Oral Health Care Heaven.

After my appointment, I immediately called Melaine and told her. She was graciously over-the-moon excited for me.

I went right home and tongue scraped. Melaine texted me many times throughout the evening asking how the scraping was going. We eagerly sent text-messages back-and-forth.

You see ... we all need friends like that in our life. Friends who understand our quirks, relish in the silly, and support us in our oddities.

I love you Melaine.

P.S. Next time you see me ... you won't recognize me, but I'll be the girl with the really clean tongue.


Kelly McPherson said...

Oh Lisa. We need to spend more time together. I LOVE brushing my teeth. The crazy thing is that Jonathan had one of those electric toothbrushes before we were married and actually got a two pack so I got one as part of the deal....I hated it at first because it felt like too much action happening all at once. Now I kind of love it. (Don't tell Jonathan.) And I kind of want a tongue scraper...hmm

marisabutterworth said...

I've heard of those. I know that I desperately need one! You are a funny girl. Thanks for the laugh!!

Veronica Underwood said...

I can't believe you didn't know about these! I have had one for years and love it!