So here's the deal.
I really miss my brother.
We don't live far away from each other.
No one is keeping us apart.
I can pretty much see him whenever I want.
But I don't.
My brother and I were the best of friends growing up.
We did everything together.
We built forts out of bed sheets and cushions.
We procrastinated every Sunday morning to get away with not going to church (it never worked, we just got in trouble instead).
We decorated Christmas cookies together and played with the ornaments in the tree.
We played on the swings, our bikes.
We ran through the woods with reckless abandon.
We made imaginary towns and cities with MatchBox cars in the sandbox.
We got restless in the back seat on the way home from Lake Chelan.
We changed bedrooms when we got tired of our own.
We talked through our open bedroom doors at night, long after we were tucked into bed.
He held me when I cried endlessly when I knew my marriage was over.
I held him when he had a broken heart.
We protect each other when other's have hurt us.
Now that we're older ... we're busy.
We don't see each other very often.
Life gets in the way.
I miss those days of lazy afternoons together and endless childhood activities.
I've been thinking of setting up a monthly dinner date with him.
But every time I pick up the phone, I think, "Will he think that's a stupid idea?" or "How lame that we have to set a date & time. Shouldn't it come naturally like it used to?"
I miss his friendship.
His contagious laugh.
His endless amounts of energy.
His insightful wisdom.
His hugs. Oh man, his hugs are the best. You really know you're being held.
So today is the day. I've been thinking about this for a long time.
Today is the day .. the day I will call him and tell him my idea.
I miss you, my Danny-Boy-Blue.